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Often, the subject headers from these women will repeat over and over again, as if generated by a sexy algorithm: “Show me the ropes? Surprising (and damning) too, is that Lola, Coco, Sweety and Babs came to me in the first place.

” is a common one, as well as the more relaxed sounding “I’m just taking it easy”. I’m not being modest here: my profile just doesn’t have a picture, or indeed details.

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It sounded really silly, and funny, not least because of the notion that somebody pursuing anonymous, meaningless rutting would choose a partner based on trivial shared interests rather than whether or not they’ve got a nice face and the gender-specific sex-parts that they prefer kissing. In fact it’s a little cynical, absolutely misleading, downright greedy and, at worst, preys on the wallets of the woefully undersexed.

I signed up to Shag a Gamer just over two weeks ago, , and in the space of a fortnight I’ve received no fewer than 330 private messages, all of them from girls with names like ‘Sweety’, ‘Babs’, ‘Lola’ and ‘Coco’ - names I’ve never heard of a real woman having before, despite knowing loads of my mum’s friends.

Here’s an excerpt from White Label Dating's site explaining how the system works: ”Online dating is big business.

We make it easy for you to get in on the action by providing you with an intuitive, fully supported, out-of-the-box platform that enables you to launch a ready-made website built on a brand that’s unique to you.

I've never actually seen a bosom heave but I'm hoping to very soon. Nobody mentions their favourite RTS, nobody complains about the lengthy cutscenes in Metal Gear Solid 4, nobody makes sexy puns about Final Fantasy.

You can't filter by genre or preferred console (which, okay, sounds ridiculous, but really wouldn't be in the supposed context of this website).

You’ve got to fork over your credit card details to respond to the dubious messages you’re receiving.

Quickly, this niche interest dating website begins to show its true colours: green (like money) rather than purple (like engorged genitals).

There isn't even a gender filter in the search options.

Shag a Gamer is literally on women (or at least on heterosexuality - updating your gender or sexuality on your profile requires that you send an email to the Shag a Gamer support team, who I can only assume are trained in drop down menus).

If you would like to more about the Datingnode platform then please download our info pack.

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